There’s no denying these are strange times we suddenly find ourselves living in. Here we are on Day 3 of Lock down. Everyone is being told to stay home. Living in one of the world’s largest cities makes this feel so odd. A lot of people I know NEVER stay home! But there are also a lot of introverts who’ve been training for this for years. Personally I fall somewhere in the middle. And fortunately one thing I have always done in my 22 years in NYC is make my home my oasis. A colorful and intricate oasis. So as I’m sitting here freaking out at least I can look around and say, it’s not a bad place to be freaking out…but for how long???
And this is where my freak out begins. Here we are, in a time of quarantine, where all touch is essentially prohibited. Social Distancing is the new mantra. Maintain 6 feet of distance. I am a body worker and Massage Therapist. My entire livelihood is based on touching people!! Officials have no idea how long this could last but are guesstimating 2-3 months. Life as we know it has been completely changed. So my income has been wiped out. Overnight. Indefinitely. But it’s more than just that. It took several days of lock down and introspection but this crisis helped me figure it out. They say do what you love and you’ll never work a day. I’ve been a Licensed Massage Therapist here in New York State since 2002. 18 years is not the norm in my industry. The average career span is 5-7 years. Due mostly to burnout and physical injury. When I was in massage school 9/11 happened. It was the biggest tragedy our nation had seen in 2 generations. It jolted all of us! New Yorkers and the nation came together in a way that was beautiful and inspiring. And touch was a huge part of that! I volunteered down at Ground Zero and seeing the transforming healing power of touch during a huge time of need left a huge impact on me. One that has been carried on throughout my career. When someone I care about is going through a rough time it is something I can give. Also as an anxious person, working with my hands has a huge calming affect on my system. But 9/11 was a very different tragedy than now. This is one time of crisis where the very thing I bring is the one thing you can’t do….Sit on that. Imagine taking an instrument away from a musician and telling them they can’t play anymore. That in fact their playing could kill thousands of people. Imagine how soul-searing that is. I love what I do. It’s a huge part of my identity and persona. I love it so much that when this crisis unfolded I was in Omaha, Nebraska working on my Structural Integration Rolfing certification. We were half way through our intensive when they shut it down. {For anyone who doesn’t know, this is a specific kind of body work that works with connective tissue in a specific order throughout the body to return it to proper alignment.} I was half way through the series at the core, diaphragm muscles and Psoas when this happened. Left in a very open and vulnerable spot and then thrown into a cauldron of terror and uncertainty. I feel like a preemie ripped from the womb way too soon!! Today was supposed to be my last day of class. I’m grateful to be back at home in my cocoon. But I’m grieving what was lost, and what has been taken away.
Tomorrow is a week since this began. And I know there will be many more weeks. There have been a lot of tears, a bunch of freak outs, some screams into pillows and a few Xanax. There has also been some generosity. A few friends have bought gift certificates for future services. (No expiration 😉 ) I’m a survivor and I know eventually I will have to re-invent myself and adapt to my surroundings. It’s the only way. I’m just not there yet…
Type A Gypsy 